William Shakespeare's the Jedi Doth Return (9781594747144) Page 14
CHEWBAC.
—Auugh!
COMMAND.
—Bring those two to me!
I’ll not be mock’d by droids whilst I have breath.
[The stormtroopers rush toward the droids.
C-3PO
They speed to us anon. I say, R2,
Art thou assur’d this is a good idea?
R2-D2
Beep, whistle, meep! [ Aside:] Thou soon shalt see, my friend,
How well I have consider’d this idea.
For though the furry creatures harmless seem,
And though I am a simple, squeaking droid,
Together we’ve a cunning strategy.
TROOPER 2
Now freeze, ye wayward droids! And do not move!
C-3PO
Most heartily I grant thee my surrender.
[The stormtroopers reach the droids. As they begin to take the droids to the other rebels, Ewoks enter from every corner of the stage to fight the Imperial troops. The Ewoks blow horned instruments to signal the attack.
HAN
What sound is this? The call of horns and fife!
The battle hath begun in earnest with
A fairer balance of the rival sides.
Those noble little creatures have arriv’d
To bear the standard of our worthy cause.
What loud commotion hath their coming made—
Now arrows fly from their well-aimèd bows,
And hit the mark—the troops fall left and right.
O sit thee back no more, Han, take thy stand!
Let courage stir within my smuggler’s blood!
[Han begins fighting the Imperial troops around him.
LEIA
O bravely met, good friends, fight on! Now Han,
We must unto the bunker and renew
Our effort to make entrance and destroy
The shield that still about the Death Star lies.
We represent Rebellion’s greatest hope!
[Han and Leia make their way to the bunker. Exit Chewbacca, fighting. R2-D2 watches the battle from the other side of the stage.
R2-D2
[ aside:] See how the creatures fight! What skill and wit
They use to struggle ’gainst their foes. There is
One flying through the sky on wings of bark,
Who drops upon the walker his small load.
The AT-ST doth not feel the hit,
But O, what daring hath the creature shown!
A group doth hold a rope across the path
To trip a walker up, yet it but pulls
Them all along. Yet some have triumph’d, too,
For they have crush’d a walker’s cockpit with
Two trunks of trees sent swinging from the vines.
Another gang employs large catapults
To send vast boulders hurtling through the sky.
Still others choose small stones to slay the troops,
And bash their helmets in with utmost glee.
There’s one who takes a rock upon a string,
And tries to fling it t’ward a trooper’s head,
But hath instead his own small visage hit.
What gallantry of spirit have these beasts.
E’en if their efforts sometimes are in vain,
They do what I, encas’d in steel, may not:
They put their bodies fully in the fight.
LEIA
[ to Han:] The code unto the bunker door hath chang’d!
We need R2!
HAN
—The terminal is here.
If he can make it o’er, this is his means
To swiftly open up the closèd door.
LEIA
R2, where art thou? Come to us anon!
R2-D2
[ to C-3PO:] Beep, squeak!
C-3PO
—Thou goest? Wait, what dost thou mean?
I thought thou hadst resolvèd to remain.
R2-D2
Meep, whistle, hoo, beep, meep.
C-3PO
—But going where?
Pray patience, R2, this is not a time
For brave heroics! Hither now, return!
[The droids move toward Han Solo and Princess Leia.
R2-D2
Beep, squeak!
C-3PO
—We come, we come!
HAN
—I prithee, swift!
[R2-D2 plugs into the bunker door’s control panel.
LEIA
Quick, good R2—thou art our only hope.
[A stormtrooper shoots and hits R2-D2, who is thrown backward, short-circuiting.
R2-D2
Hoo!
C-3PO
—R2, wherefore wert thou passing brave?
HAN
That plan, then, shall not be. Mayhap I can
Still hot-wire these controls to ope the door.
LEIA
Good cover shall I give thee whilst thou work’st.
Enter CHEWBACCA and two EWOKS , aside, swinging onto the top of an AT-ST Imperial walker.
CHEWBAC.
Auugh-egh-egh-auugh!
[Chewbacca and the Ewoks land on top of the AT-ST. The AT-ST pilot and copilot see an Ewok in the front screen.
AT-ST PILOT
—Pray, get the beastie off!
[The AT-ST copilot opens the hatch and is thrown out by Chewbacca. The Ewoks enter the cockpit and subdue the AT-ST pilot.
EWOK
N’mayta mayta,
Heeza hayta,
Weeza gonnem,
Bayta, bayta.
[Chewbacca and the Ewoks begin piloting the AT-ST toward the bunker, shooting Imperial troops and destroying other AT-STs as they go.
HAN
The wiring have I reckon’d, and we shall
Make entrance to the bunker presently.
A-ha, ’tis done, and now the door’s unlock’d!
[A second blast door shuts.
Have I been mock’d by cords and circuitry?
Shall I by wires and cable bested be?
[A stormtrooper shoots Princess Leia in the shoulder. Han Solo rushes to her side.
LEIA
Alack!
HAN
—My love, my heart, my very life!
I beg thee, tell me thou art well, and that
This wound shall not take what I hold most dear:
E’en thee. Shall this the final moment be,
Shall I live all my life in grave regret
That never did I tell thee what thou mean’st,
Or how completely thou hast won me o’er?
A smuggler’s heart thou hast with cunning seiz’d,
A pirate’s soul thou hast by kindness ta’en.
A scoundrel’s life thou holdest hostage, chuck.
Thus, though I am by trade a smuggling man,
’Tis thou art guilty of a greater crime:
For thou dost practice larceny in love.
LEIA
I almost wish my wound were worse to hear
More of thy tender and most soothing words.
But truly, Han, I am not badly hurt.
[The Imperial troops have all been defeated, except two stormtroopers approaching from behind.
TROOPER 2
Be still!
C-3PO
—O my!
TROOPER 2
—Move not, or else thou diest!
[Princess Leia takes out her blaster discreetly, preparing to shoot.
HAN
O, I do love thee, Leia dear.
LEIA
—I know.
[Princess Leia shoots both stormtroopers.
HAN
Well aim’d, my sweet.
C-3PO
—Hurrah! We now are sav’d.
[The AT-ST piloted by Chewbacca and the Ewoks approaches.
HAN
O, ’tis unjust! Another fighter yet?
This battle fierce we very nearly won,
Yet now this final
vehicle appears.
How shall we conquer it and still defeat
The too-importunate Imperi’l threat?
Shall we have no relief from enemies?
CHEWBAC.
[ emerging from the hatch:] Auugh!
HAN
—Chewie! Blessèd sight art thou. I pray,
Come quickly down, for she is wounded.
CHEWBAC.
—Egh!
HAN
Nay, wait! [ To Leia:] A keen idea hath come to me,
Which shall unto this doorway be our key.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 2.
Space / Inside the second Death Star.
Enter LANDO OF CALRISSIAN, NIEN NUNB, ADMIRAL ACKBAR, WEDGE ANTILLES, and OTHER REBEL PILOTS, dueling with IMPERIAL TROOPS in their ships. Enter LUKE SKYWALKER, DARTH VADER, and EMPEROR PALPATINE on balcony, watching the battle below.
LANDO
Take care, good Wedge: three come at thee above!
WEDGE
Red Three, Red Two, I prithee, pull ye in!
RED 2
I hear thy word and do attend, good Sir.
RED 3
Now three approach at twenty, by degrees.
WEDGE
Cut to the left; the leader is for me.
Toward the frigate medical they fly—
O villainy, to make assault upon
Our injur’d. Nay, they shall not strike us thus!
LANDO
I fly with thee, good Wedge, they’ll not prevail.
But wait, what omen vile’s before mine eyes?
The fighters of the Empire are engag’d,
Yet all the Star Destroyers are at rest.
It is as though some show is here devis’d,
And we’re the actors in a play of war.
Enter Admiral Piett and IMPERIAL cOMMANDER , aside.
COMMAND.
We’re set in the position for attack.
PIETT
’Tis well, now hold thee fast, and wait.
COMMAND.
—But Sir,
Dost mean that we shall not make our assault?
PIETT
This is no plan of my invention, but
The edict cometh from the Emperor
Himself. He hath a special plan afoot.
Our role here is but to prevent escape.
Hast thou mark’d well what I have said?
COMMAND.
—Aye, Sir.
[Exeunt Admiral Piett and Imperial commander.
EMPEROR
[ to Luke:] As thou canst see, my young apprentice, all
Thy friends have fail’d. Now for the final blow:
Thou shalt bear witness to the strong firepow’r
Of this both fully operational
And armèd battle station. [ Into comlink:] Fire at will,
Commander! Let the rebels shriek with pain!
Excitement courses through my veins, for I
Do thrill at bringing others misery.
[The Death Star shoots, sending beams across the stage and killing some rebel pilots.
LUKE
[ aside:] O pierce my soul, thou cursèd hand of Fate!
Am I the cause for this most bitter scene?
The Death Star active while my comrades die,
And all that I may gaze upon their end.
How shall I keep my mind from thoughts most dark?
How shall I patient be when fac’d with this?
How shall I not respond to anger’s call?
How shall I show a Jedi’s noble soul?
Be with me, trusted Yoda and dear Ben,
Forsooth, I need you more than ever now.
LANDO
[ to Nien:] That blast hath emanated from the Death
Star. O! ’Tis operational. [ Into comlink:] Home One,
This is Gold Leader. Hast thou seen that blast?
ACKBAR
We did indeed, and our decision’s made.
All rebel fighters for retreat prepare—
Our fleet is not sufficient to withstand
The might of this new Death Star’s thunderclap.
LANDO
Thou shalt not have another chance as this
To mount attack upon the Empire, Sir.
ACKBAR
We’ve no choice, General Calrissian.
Their vast firepow’r our ships cannot repel—
Betwixt our strength and theirs, too wide’s the gap!
LANDO
But still I trust that Han will soon disarm
The shield. We must but give him time enough!
His mission is no easier than ours.
A thought hath come to me that we may use—
’Tis dangerous, but may yet worthy prove.
All ships move closer to the Star Destroy’rs,
Engage the giant ships at point-blank range.
ACKBAR
At that close range, we’ll not last long against
A Star Destroyer’s harsh and vicious rap.