William Shakespeare's Tragedy of the Sith's Revenge Page 3
[The super battle droid kicks R2-D2, knocking him over.
OBI-WAN
I prithee, say thou hast some other plan,
Else we have trouble we shall not escape.
[They are escorted to the ship’s command center.
Enter GENERAL GRIEVOUS with his CAPTAIN and several BATTLE DROIDS.
GRIEVOUS
’Tis the negotiator, verily:
E’en General Kenobi. Long have we
Awaited you. Your rescue hath fall’n short.
And with him, Anakin Skywalker too—
Though I assum’d your reputation vast
Belong’d to someone older than yourself.
’Tis twice the Jedi I did hope to snare
Within my nets today: a double catch.
ANAKIN
[aside:] A ghastly giant this one is, by Jove.
[To Grievous:] You, Gen’ral Grievous, are far smaller than
I did expect, from what few tales I’ve heard.
They did give tell of one most like a titan,
Yet now I see you are a puny droid.
GRIEVOUS
O, Jedi filth, I’ll hush your insolence.
OBI-WAN
There is a job before us, Anakin—
Do thou attempt to not upset the beast.
R2-D2
Beep, whistle, beep, meep, squeak, beep, whistle, nee!
GRIEVOUS
Your lightsabers add two more to my throng,
Which haply I take from my Jedi dead.
OBI-WAN
It shall not be, you grievous droid, not in
This moment: this time, you shall not escape.
ANAKIN
Now, R2, do thy worst and best at once!
R2-D2
Squeak! [Aside:] Yea! Mine utmost for his highest deeds.
[R2-D2 unleashes all his tools at once, sending shocks and steam around him, creating confusion. Obi-Wan uses the Force to take his lightsaber from General Grievous.
OBI-WAN
Lightsaber, come to me and be mine aid!
GRIEVOUS
Crush them anon!
ANAKIN
—Come Fate into the list,
And champion me to the utterance!
The chancellor shall be sav’d, come what may.
GRIEVOUS
Make these two Jedi suffer for their crimes:
Their suffering shall be my healing balm.
[A mighty battle ensues as Obi-Wan and Anakin duel and defeat many droids.
OBI-WAN
These super battle droids, with spears of light,
Are more skill’d than the common battle droid,
Yet still no match for such a one as I.
E’en now I strike the pate from off its neck.
But what is this, it doth maintain attack?
This is a thing we humans cannot do!
Still, ’tis a trick too weak for Obi-Wan—
I strike, and it is down: a rubbish heap.
GRIEVOUS
[to battle droids:] Keep ye the ship in orbit whilst I flee.
[Obi-Wan and Anakin surround Grievous near a window.
OBI-WAN
It shall not be, you droid of rage and hate.
ANAKIN
You are beset on ev’ry side, and must
Make your surrender, lest we end you here.
GRIEVOUS
You lose, weak General Kenobi—ha!
For being human is your disadvantage—
The breath that gives you life shall be your death.
[General Grievous shatters the window and is sucked into space. Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Palpatine clutch parts of their ship.
Exit General Grievous.
OBI-WAN
The fiend escapes outside the failing ship,
And to the hull doth cling, before he flees
Within a pod to make his flight complete.
ANAKIN
’Tis fortunate for us the blast doors hath
Engag’d, for we are safe. ’Tis safety, though,
As ne’er did seem so very dangerous:
The ship is bound to crash on Coruscant.
CAPTAIN
All fly, and flee, and save whate’er you may!
[Exeunt captain and all droids in confusion and dismay.
ANAKIN
Fie! There is nowhere we four may abscond,
For ev’ry swift escape pod hath been launch’d.
OBI-WAN
Canst thou, my brave friend, pilot such as this?
ANAKIN
Your meaning is far diff’rent than your words:
You do intend to ask if I can land
What little doth remain of this poor ship?
OBI-WAN
And canst thou?
ANAKIN
—As the situation lies,
The mere ability to pilot such
A ship as this is most irrelevant.
The question may be better phras’d this way:
Can I crash this ship with an ounce of grace?
I bid you, sirs, be fast secur’d unto
Your seats: the ride shall rougher yet become.
Make open all the hatches, and extend
Each flap and drag fin this poor vessel hath.
By these we may at least, in some small part,
Slow our inevitable, sharp decline.
PALPATINE
Mine ev’ry hope and faith is plac’d with thee.
R2-D2
Beep, meep, beep, squeak, meep, whistle, hoo, meep, nee!
[The ship splits in half as it descends.
ANAKIN
It doth appear we’ve lost our better half—
The helpless ship doth break itself in twain!
OBI-WAN
No worry, for we still fly half a ship.
R2-D2
Squeak, squeak!
ANAKIN
—Our speed increaseth as we fall.
If we expire not in a fiery blast,
The ship reduc’d to ash by th’atmosphere,
We’ll crash upon the face of Coruscant.
’Tis eight plus sixty now, O, far too fast!
OBI-WAN
The atmosphere’s upon us.
ANAKIN
—Keep us level;
I prithee, sir, maintain the ship’s control.
R2-D2
Beep, meep, beep, nee, hoo, whistle, beep, meep, hoo!
[Aside:] Would that I could my droid life sacrifice
So that I might deliver these good men.
OBI-WAN
The ground approacheth quickly—steady on.
R2-D2
Squeak, nee, nee!
ANAKIN
—R2, be thou calm, small droid.
All shall be well. [Aside:] At th’least, ’tis mine intent.
OBI-WAN
Five thousand now, with fire ships left and right
That come aside to witness our descent.
Enter FIRESHIP PILOTS 1 and 2.
PILOT 1
We come to guide you in.
ANAKIN
—Our thanks, good friends.
OBI-WAN
A landing strip’s below, if we can make’t.
ANAKIN
Our progress doth proceed too hastily:
We are a fireball plunging to the surface.
[The ship lands on the strip with a great collision. Exeunt fireship pilots.
OBI-WAN
Another landing haply made. Well done.
PALPATINE
Thy skill exceeds all measure, Anakin.
[Aside:] In time, thou shalt a pow’rful asset be.
ANAKIN
Let us away, and tell of what we’ve seen.
[Exeunt Anakin, Palpatine, and R2-D2.
OBI-WAN
All reason flies, and time doth but confound:
The conflict wherein we are full embroil’d
Is seeming simple; droids and Sep’ratists
Conspire with Gen’r
al Grievous and the late
Count Dooku to destroy the brave Republic.
The plot is passing plain. Say, wherefore, then,
Doth ev’ry moment tell of deeper vice?
My Jedi senses have, of late, been clouded—
Some fog of bleakest gray o’erthrows my mind.
Methinks the Jedi Council struggles with
A murkiness akin to what I feel.
Some evil doth elude us even now—
The Sith are rising, so we have been told,
Yet how did they arise, and when was it,
And who are they—some fiends we Jedi know?
By far too many questions we’re beset,
With neither space nor peace to work them out.
Had we but galaxy enough, and time,
All shelter’d secrets could uncover’d be.
Instead, some coming tragedy I fear;
Could I but work it out, all would be clear.
[Exit Obi-Wan.
SCENE 2.
On the planet Coruscant.
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, CHANCELLOR PALPATINE, and R2-D2, imeeting a delegation that includes MACE WINDU, C-3PO, SENATOR BAIL ORGANA, and other SENATORS.
ANAKIN
Will you come join us, Master, as we meet
This worthy party here on Coruscant?
OBI-WAN
Nay, nay, my friend, my courage reacheth not
So far as to play games of politics.
I must away and make my full report
Unto the Jedi Council. Shine thy light:
Thou shalt the Jedi ably represent,
And be the sign and symbol of a hero.
ANAKIN
O, feign you not too much humility;
The rescue mission was of your design.
OBI-WAN
Yet thou did save me from the vulture droids,
’Twas thou who made defeat of Dooku’s life,
And thou didst liberate the chancellor
Whilst holding me, unconscious, on thy back.
ANAKIN
Whate’er my deeds, your training power’d them.
OBI-WAN
I shall take credit when ’tis due to me.
Today, though, thou art hero, verily,
And do deserve the people’s accolades,
The politicians and this day withal.
ANAKIN
’Tis well. Forget not you do owe me one
Since I do go to face this multitude,
Though I would rather face a fleet entire.
Of course, good Master, ’tis twixt you and me
That I have rescu’d you now these ten times.
OBI-WAN
O, say not ten! ’Tis nine, as I do count:
The business on Cato Neimoidia thou
Canst not in thy good conscience count. Not ten!
Farewell, young Anakin, and I shall see
Thee when we have our parley with the Council.
[Exit Obi-Wan.
MACE
Goodfellows all, ’tis well to see ye here.
Brave Chancellor, how doth it go with you?
PALPATINE
With gratitude unto your Jedi Knights,
I may report that I am safe and well.
Count Dooku hath been slain, although I fear
That Gen’ral Grievous hath escap’d again.
MACE
Aye, Grievous shall fly hence and run away:
He never is so steady as when he
Doth turn his craven droidly tail and flee—
’Tis e’er his course direct, sans changing lanes.
PALPATINE
Yet with Count Dooku dead, he also is
The leader of the army of the droids.
Alas, the Senate shall be certain to
Vote to continue this foul war as long
As Grievous is alive and freely roams.
MACE
Then shall the Jedi Council’s fervent aim
Be to discover Grievous, whether ’tis
Within the city vast of Coruscant,
Upon the cool white sands of Tatooine,
Aboard a ship that soars through hyperspace,
Or anyplace within the galaxy.
[Exeunt Mace Windu and Chancellor Palpatine.
C-3PO
Come with me, small R2—thy tale I’d hear.
R2-D2
Beep, meep, squeak, whistle, beep!
C-3PO
—O, say not so,
’Twas not as horrible as thou dost say.
R2-D2
Meep, beep.
C-3PO
—On that point strongly I agree;
I’ faith, a tune-up would suit me as well.
Mayhap we two together should retire,
Enjoy an oil bath and a wire massage.
[Exeunt C-3PO and R2-D2.
BAIL
[to Anakin:] The good Republic e’er doth sing your praise.
ANAKIN
My thanks to you, kind Senator Organa.
BAIL
The end of Dooku’s faction we’ll soon see.
ANAKIN
Yet, marry, I believe the fighting shall
Continue till that Grievous is mere parts:
Our peace, it seems, waits on a pile of scrap.
BAIL
I shall do all within my power in
The chambers of the Senate to end this
Most bitter conflict.
Enter PADMÉ, aside.
ANAKIN
—Pray, excuse me, sir.
Mayhap we two shall speak another time.
BAIL
May it be so: I’d talk with you again.
[Exeunt all but Anakin and Padmé. They approach each other and kiss.
PADMÉ
My love!—to see thee safely homeward sent
Doth all mine awful fears at once destroy.
ANAKIN
It gives me wonder great as my content
To see you here before me. O, my joy!
If after ev’ry battle come such calms,
May these wars wage till they have waken’d death!
PADMÉ
If thou wert poor, my tears would be the alms
Wherewith I’d give thee wealth. Thou tak’st my breath,
For seeing thee doth make me rich again,
Yet leaves me empty of all else, save thee.
Full many rumors flew o’er dale and glen
That thou wert dead and maim’d most grievously.
ANAKIN
Behold: here I do stand, my life intact.
It seems as if I’ve not thy visage seen
For one whole lifetime, by my count exact.
Indeed, if our most noble Palpatine
Had not been kidnapp’d, longer may our wait
Have been, for Obi-Wan and I, we two,
Would still be on the Outer Rim. Yet Fate,
The blessèd weaver, knit our hearts anew.
And now I am with thee, and thou art mine:
Let no one put asunder our two hearts.
[He kisses her.
PADMÉ
Pray, patience, love: my soul for thee doth pine,
Yet here we should not play our lovers’ parts.
The sun doth shine, with light of brightest noon:
In such a glow our love will others mark.
ANAKIN
’Tis not the sun, nay, ’tis the secret moon,
Which hides what lovers do ’neath cloak of dark.
No longer worry who our love shall know—
The place for us is found where’er we roam.
I have more care to stay than will to go,
For here, within thy presence, is mine home.
PADMÉ
Nay, say not so, mine own sweet Anakin,
The moon is too inconstant for our love.
For if the Senate or the Council ’gin
To know our hearts, they shall, from up above,
Deliver us brave
punishments, I fear:
My title stripp’d, thy Jedi rights remov’d.
ANAKIN
As I did say, my dear, the sun is here:
It is the day, thy judgment hath been prov’d.
Yet what is this: thou tremblest terribly:
What is it ails thee, Padmé? Speak it plain.
PADMÉ
I have such news as I would share with thee,
Intelligence both sacred and profane:
Thy child doth move within me, in my womb.
As lovers, ’tis a blessing for us two,
Yet in our roles, this happiness is doom.
In all thy wisdom, speak: what shall we do?
ANAKIN
Thy bold report doth overwhelm me so:
Mine ears do haply thy sweet words receive,
And joy within mine heart begins to flow.
Such wondrous tidings ne’er could make me grieve,
For this new life shall bring us closer yet.
We shall discover how we may let this—
The strange, astounding miracle now met—
Be joy, not worry: not concern, but bliss.
For now we’ll take our leave, then, by and by,
Safe hid in thine apartment we shall meet.
Thereon we shall consider, you and I,
How we two should this happy topic greet.
[Exit Anakin.
PADMÉ
O, noble man, and master of my soul,
Yet I do sense the doubt thou wilt not speak.
Thine eyes are like a testament unto
A vague uncertainty thou surely feel’st.
My puzzling news, which caught thee unawares,
Hath struck a chord into thy very core
And shakes thee there, an ’twere the ground that shook.