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William Shakespeare's the Jedi Doth Return (9781594747144) Page 8


  LUKE

  —Vader is aboard that giant ship.

  HAN

  Be not afear’d, good Luke, let not thy nerves

  Thy better judgment mar. Full many ships

  There are that do command the Empire’s fleet.

  Keep thou thy distance, though, Chewbacca, but

  Do not appear as though thou keepest it.

  CHEWBAC.

  Auugh?

  HAN

  —Let me make it plain: fly casual.

  CHEWBAC.

  Egh!

  Enter DARTH VADER on balcony.

  VADER

  —Tell me now: where is that shuttle bound?

  PIETT

  Small shuttle of Tydirium, what is

  Thy destination and thy cargo? Speak!

  HAN

  We come to bring both parts and crew, which shall

  Deliver technical assistance to

  Our comrades on the forest moon.

  VADER

  —Have they

  The code that clearance would ensure?

  PIETT

  —They do.

  It is an older code, but hits the mark.

  I was about to grant them passage, Lord.

  LUKE

  [ aside:] My father, how I sense him clearly now!

  His thoughts, his aspect, e’en his very mood.

  [ To Han Solo:] I have endangerèd the mission here,

  And should not hither have accomp’nied you.

  HAN

  ’Tis thine imagination, Luke. Pray, be

  More optimistic; let thy heart be still.

  LUKE

  [ aside:] What stillness can there be when moves the Force?

  It shall move mountains if it so desires.

  No inner strength or outer brawn can match

  The movement of the Force that now ’twixt me

  And Vader passeth. Han hath no idea,

  Yet all, belike, shall know quite soon enough,

  For Ben and Yoda both were right: I must

  My father yet confront ere I—or he—

  Shall ever freedom know.

  PIETT

  [ to Vader:] —Shall they be held?

  VADER

  Nay, Admiral, thou mayst let them proceed.

  They shall be mine—mere cards that I shall play,

  And I shall serve as dealer for their deck.

  PIETT

  Then shall I wager that the house shall win.

  Thy wish is mine, my Lord, and it shall be.

  [ To controller:] Thou canst now carry on, and let them pass.

  HAN

  This hesitation pregnant is with doubt:

  Mayhap they are not taken in, Chewbacca.

  CONTROL.

  Good shuttle of Tydirium, the swift

  Deactivation of the shield begins.

  Hold fast unto thy present course.

  [Exeunt Darth Vader, Admiral Piett, and Imperial controller.

  HAN

  —’Tis well!

  Did I not tell ye all that it would work?

  No problems here, when Han is at the helm.

  LEIA

  My scoundrel-love, thou ever hast a boast—

  Yet often there’s a reason to thy rhyme.

  Enter several IMPERIAL SCOUTS, aside, as Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, C-3PO, and R2-D2 disembark.

  HAN

  Now have we landed on the forest moon,

  And our good company has disembark’d.

  We make our way through trees and bushes here.

  But what is that, a sound—pray all, alert!

  C-3PO

  You see, R2, I told thee this would be

  Quite dangerous. Alack, be calm, my core!

  HAN

  I see a building with Imperial

  Motifs and markings. There, beside it, are

  Two scouts. This shall require some care, methinks.

  LEIA

  Then shall we try and go around the side?

  LUKE

  It will take time.

  HAN

  —And all shall be for naught

  If we are seen. Yet I do have a plan:

  Chewbacca and myself shall handle this.

  Ye both stay here.

  LUKE

  —But prithee, soft, good Han.

  Be quiet, for there may be others near.

  HAN

  Thy words unnecessary are—’tis me!

  [Han Solo and Chewbacca move toward the Imperial scouts.

  Now shall I move in stealth to take them in,

  Then take them out. With catlike tread I step,

  Ne’er to be notic’d till my prey is mine,

  Then I—alack! A twig snaps underfoot!

  [Imperial Scouts 1 and 2 turn toward the sound and see Han Solo and Chewbacca.

  SCOUT 1

  What is that sound? Alas, ’tis rebels, go!

  And warn our comrades quickly.

  LUKE

  —Let us fly!

  [Han fights with Imperial Scout 1. Imperial Scout 2 boards his speeder bike to fly away but is shot by Chewbacca. Imperial Scouts 3 and 4 jump on their speeder bikes and fly away.

  LEIA

  Behold the two scouts speed from out our grasp!

  Upon the instant I shall give them chase.

  LUKE

  Pray, Leia, patience—straight I come with thee!

  [Luke and Leia board a speeder bike behind Imperial Scouts 3 and 4, in pursuit. Exeunt Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2 in the melee.

  Enter CHORUS.

  CHORUS

  Do not our play too harshly judge, dear friends,

  For with imagination may you see:

  Into the forest now the fight extends

  On speeder bikes that whip ’twixt tree and tree.

  What haste their dauntless riders undergo

  As they fly swiftly past both brush and stumps!

  The rapid derring-do our scene doth show,

  And when ’tis over, some shall have their lumps.

  [Exit chorus.

  LUKE

  Jam thou their comlink, center switch!

  LEIA

  —’Tis done!

  LUKE

  Canst thou yet closer go? Pray, pull aside

  The one before us. Now I jump aboard

  His bike, and he is mine and I’m for him.

  [Luke throws Imperial Scout 3 from his speeder bike, and Imperial Scout 3 dies.

  Enter IMPERIAL SCOUTS 5 and 6 on speeder bikes.

  Aye, he is gone, but others take his place!

  Good Leia, follow that one up ahead.

  I shall remain behind, to face these two.

  LEIA

  ’Tis well. Be safe, and I shall see thee soon.

  LUKE

  [ aside:] O sister, all my thanks for tender words.

  [Luke falls behind, alongside Imperial Scouts 5 and 6.

  Now shall this bike’s keen blaster find its mark!

  I shoot, and one is dead; the other next.

  [Luke shoots and kills Imperial Scout 6.

  LEIA

  I shall fly high o’er this one’s bike, that he

  May think that I have fled. Then shall I from

  Above make my attack. Ha! Now beside

  His bike, surprise is my sure strategy.

  [Imperial Scout 4 shoots at Leia.

  Alas! My bike is hit, and off I fall!

  [Leia falls to the ground, unconscious. Imperial Scout 4 looks behind him to make sure she has fallen.

  SCOUT 4

  Ha! There’s a rebel scum who shall no more

  Make trouble for our mighty Empire. We

  Are e’er the strongest in the galaxy,

  With pilots such as I whose skill is—O!—

  [Imperial Scout 4 collides with a tree and dies.

  LUKE

  This latest scout is skill’d beyond the rest—

  I may not best him in a battle thus.

  Yet
by another method I shall win,

  For why rely on bikes and blasters when

  I have the Force, and my lightsaber, too?

  [Luke leaps from his bike.

  Now to it, scout! Return and meet thy fate!

  He comes a’blasting, but my lightsaber

  Deflects the shots, and now I slice his bike!

  Aye, broke in twain his bike doth falter fast,

  And now against a tree he meets his end!

  [Imperial Scout 5 dies.

  Enter HAN SOLO, CHEWBACCA, C-3PO, and R2-D2, from the opposite side.

  R2-D2

  Beep, meep, beep, whistle, meep, squeak, whistle, nee!

  C-3PO

  O, Gen’ral Solo, someone comes anon!

  HAN

  [ seeing Luke:] Luke! We have found thee! But thou lack’st one thing:

  I bid thee tell me: where is Leia? Eh?

  LUKE

  She came not back?

  HAN

  —I thought she was with thee.

  LUKE

  And truly was. But lo, within the wood,

  The battle was borne out with speed and fire,

  Amid the blasts and cruel Imperi’l scouts

  ’Twas only muddledom that won the day.

  We separated were, and there’s an end.

  Anon! We must fly hence and search for her.

  Good R2, come, thy scanners we shall need.

  C-3PO

  Fear not, good master, we know what to do!

  [ To R2-D2:] And thou didst say ’twas pretty here. O pish!

  [Exeunt Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2.

  Enter WICKET , an Ewok, approaching Princess Leia.

  WICKET

  A buki buki,

  Luki, luki,

  Issa creecher,

  Nuki, nuki!

  [Wicket jabs Princess Leia with his staff. She wakes up.

  LEIA

  Desist at once, thou furry little imp!

  WICKET

  E danvay, danvay,

  Staa awanvay,

  Da livvy creecher!

  Panvay, panvay!

  LEIA

  I shall not hurt thee, little one. But O,

  My body cries with soreness from my fall.

  I wonder where Luke and the others are?

  WICKET

  Fangowa, gowa,

  I nonowa.

  Da creecher muvvee

  Slowa, slowa.

  LEIA

  It seemeth I am fix’d and grounded here,

  Yet I am lost and know not what “here” means.

  All that I have is this small creature, from

  A species I have ne’er encounterèd.

  Mayhap thou wilt assist me, little friend.

  Sit down beside me, here, and let us talk.

  I promise I’ll not hurt thee. Aye, approach.

  WICKET

  A dunga, dunga,

  Wassee wunga?

  Ino commee,

  Junga junga.

  LEIA

  Belike thou wouldst like something thou canst eat?

  If thou art like most creatures, thou mayst be

  Directed by thy stomach’s wish for food—

  Where bellies lead, the other members trail.

  Here, friend, taste thou this morsel from my hand.

  WICKET

  Aytru, aytru,

  See mebbe tru,

  Iya tryee,

  Maytru, maytru.

  [Wicket takes a wafer from Princess Leia and eats it.

  LEIA

  I’ll warrant I have made a friend at last—

  The food succeeds where words alone have fail’d. Now shall I take this helmet off, for sure,

  It gives me pain to wear it still so tight.

  WICKET

  A kusha kusha,

  Wassee doona?

  Mia scardu,

  Pusha, pusha.

  LEIA

  Nay, fear thou not, O little one; ’tis but

  A hat, and shall not harm thee. ’Tis no threat.

  Thou art a scamp fill’d full of skittishness.

  [Wicket hears a sound in the forest.

  WICKET

  A kiata, ata,

  Summink mata,

  Summink commee,

  Giata ata.

  [A shot is fired near Princess Leia, who falls to the ground.

  LEIA

  [ aside:] This creature’s customs and his language are

  Unknown to me, and yet his instincts prove

  Most capable. He smell’d the danger ere

  I knew ’twas here. A pow’rful ally might

  He and his people be, if e’er we could

  Communicate and share each other’s thoughts

  And hopes and aspirations openly.