William Shakespeare's the Merry Rise of Skywalker Read online

  Copyright © 2020 by Lucasfilm Ltd. & TM. All rights reserved.

  All rights reserved. Except as authorized under U.S. copyright law, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

  Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2020905204

  ISBN 9781683691891

  Ebook ISBN 9781683691907

  Text by Ian Doescher

  Cover design by Ryan Hayes

  Illustrations by Nicolas Delort

  Production management by John J. McGurk

  Quirk Books

  215 Church Street

  Philadelphia, PA 19106

  quirkbooks.com

  a_prh_5.5.0_c0_r1

  TO JEFF AND CARYL CRESWELL,

  SECOND PARENTS—

  THE ANAKIN AND PADMÉ

  TO MY HAN—

  YET FAR MORE PRESENT,

  LOVING, AND ALIVE

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Dramatis Personae

  Prologue

  Act I

  Scene 1

  Scene 2

  Scene 3

  Scene 4

  Scene 5

  Act II

  Scene 1

  Scene 2

  Scene 3

  Scene 4

  Act III

  Scene 1

  Scene 2

  Scene 3

  Scene 4

  Act IV

  Scene 1

  Scene 2

  Scene 3

  Scene 4

  Act V

  Scene 1

  Scene 2

  Afterword

  Acknowledgments

  About the Authors

  DRAMATIS PERSONAE

  CHORUS

  GENERAL LEIA ORGANA, of the Resistance

  REY, a Jedi of the Resistance

  POE DAMERON, a General of the Resistance

  FINN, a General of the Resistance

  CHEWBACCA, a Wookiee of the Resistance

  BB-8, Poe’s droid

  C-3PO, a protocol droid

  R2-D2, his companion

  D-O, an anxious droid

  MAZ KANATA, of Takodana

  LANDO OF CALRISSIAN, former General of the Rebellion

  GHOST OF LUKE SKYWALKER, a Jedi Master

  GHOST OF HAN SOLO, a scoundrel

  VOICES OF YODA, OBI-WAN KENOBI, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, MACE WINDU, QUI-GON JINN, AAYLA SECURA, AHSOKA TANO, KANAN JARRUS, LUMINARA UNDULI, and ADI GALLIA, Jedi

  ROSE TICO, an engineer of the Resistance

  COMMANDER D’ACY, LIEUTENANT CONNIX, KLAUD, SNAP WEXLEY, BEAUMONT KIN, AFTAB ACKBAR, NIEN NUNB, NIMI, and WEDGE ANTILLES, others of the Resistance

  BOOLIO, an Ovissian ally of the Resistance

  KALO’NE, Lando’s friend

  ZORII BLISS and BABU FRICK, of the Kijimi Spice Runners

  WICKET and POMMET, Ewoks

  KYLO REN, Supreme Leader of the First Order

  GENERAL HUX, of the First Order

  ALLEGIANT GENERAL PRYDE, GENERAL PARNADEE, GENERAL QUINN, and ADMIRAL GRISS, of the First Order

  AKI-AKI, PORGS, ORBAKS, KIJIMI SPICE RUNNERS, KNIGHTS OF REN, FIRST ORDER OFFICERS AND STORMTROOPERS, RESISTANCE SOLDIERS AND PILOTS, DROIDS, WORKERS, and VARIOUS CREATURES

  PROLOGUE.

  Space.

  Enter CHORUS.

  CHORUS

  Zounds! Menacing, the dead begin to speak!

  Heard through the galaxy, though yet unseen,

  Comes threat of harsh revenge in voice most bleak—

  The sinister, dark Emp’ror Palpatine.

  Our General Organa sends a chain

  Of spies to seek out news past ev’ry border,

  Whilst Rey, of Jedi hopes the last, doth train

  For battle gainst the devilish First Order.

  Their Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is sour,

  For he this phantom emperor would see,

  To conquer any threat to his vast pow’r.

  Behold the end of our nonology!

  In time so long ago begins our play,

  In Force-touch’d galaxy far, far away.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 1.

  On Mustafar and Exegol.

  Enter KYLO REN.

  KYLO

  Two rivals, both alike in dignity,

  Among the planets, where we lay our scene—

  Yet only one shall rule the galaxy.

  Unto my solo voice of potency,

  A voice was added—bygone Palpatine:

  Two rivals, both alike in dignity.

  Whate’er his purpose, he shall bend to me.

  His bold revival cometh unforeseen,

  Yet only one shall rule the galaxy.

  And Rey, the young, prodigious Jedi she,

  Hath talent like to mine, though she is green—

  Two rivals, both alike in dignity.

  The day will come when she shall bend the knee,

  When we will reign in peace and might serene—

  Yet only one shall rule the galaxy.

  On both sides I am press’d most ardently,

  But in my triumph none may intervene.

  Two rivals, both alike in dignity—

  Yet only one shall rule the galaxy.

  Enter STORMTROOPERS and several FOES of the First Order.

  KYLO REN slays his foes until he is surrounded by the dead.

  TROOPER 1

  Your quest is punctuated by the dead.

  Success in your endeavor, sir, is all.

  KYLO

  Thou art dismiss’d, thou and the legion whole.

  [Exeunt stormtroopers, bearing away the foes.

  If Palpatine shall hide beneath a shroud,

  Be sure I’ll seek him out where’er he lies.

  Upon an errand urgent and profound

  Have I come hither, pillaging for this:

  The Sith wayfinder that leads me to him.

  [Kylo Ren uncovers a Sith wayfinder

  and grasps it in his hand.

  Darth Vader’s former home on Mustafar—

  The castle where my grandfather held sway—

  Became the final resting place for this

  Wayfinder that shall lead me to the Sith.

  O, pyramid with knowledge long obscur’d,

  Show me, I pray, the path that I must take.

  [Kylo Ren boards his TIE whisper,

  plugs the wayfinder in, and travels

  to Exegol, planet of the Sith.

  My destiny herein awaiteth me,

  Where all is done, or else I am undone.

  Behold, this giant and forbidding hold,

  A building of a most astounding girth.

  The dark side of the Force I feel, as though

  I were submerg’d beneath the ocean deep

  And power dark were water all around.

  White lightning crackles, flashes, dances quick,

  A gloomy symbol of the threat within.

  I shall not be deterr’d from purpose true.

  Come, lightsaber, and lead me through the dark. />
  [He disembarks on Exegol and walks

  onto a platform, which descends into a

  cavern past statues of former Sith.

  Although mine enemy awaiteth here,

  ’Tis truly said his lair doth strike my soul.

  These tow’ring statues of departed Sith

  Would chill the bravest heart and toucheth mine.

  Still, Kylo Ren shall not be shaken, nay—

  Whilst I have life, I shall not be sent hence.

  Enter EMPEROR PALPATINE, hidden.

  PALPATINE

  At last, young Kylo Ren, thou hither com’st.

  Snoke train’d thee well, ’tis certain.

  KYLO

  —Yet Snoke died

  By this, my hand, and thou shalt follow him.

  PALPATINE

  My dearest boy, Snoke was a thing I made—

  A valuable creation of the Sith,

  With still more of his like available.

  KYLO REN walks past a tank of liquid holding many

  bodies that resemble Supreme Leader Snoke. Enter

  several SITH ACOLYTES, working on the tank.

  I have been ev’ry voice thou ever heard’st:

  When I do speak, ’tis in the voice of Snoke

  Or, when I wish, ’tis in Darth Vader’s voice—

  Inside thy head, these voices echo round,

  And I control the strings that move their mouths.

  ’Twas always I who led and guided thee

  And now have brought thee here, my will to serve.

  Thy vain First Order was an overture,

  Preamble to profounder music still—

  A mere beginning to my pure design.

  Forsooth, I’ll proffer thee a greater gift.

  KYLO

  Thou shalt die first—thine aspirations, too.

  PALPATINE

  I died before, yet death retains me not—

  The underworld is no match for the Sith.

  The dark side of the Force unveils a path,

  The road less travel’d by, which openeth

  A world of wondrous, new abilities

  That some consider most unnatural.

  [Palpatine comes forward, connected

  to an Ommin harness. Kylo Ren points

  his lightsaber toward Palpatine.

  KYLO

  Yet what couldst thou—unnatural, indeed—

  Give me that I do not have?

  PALPATINE

  —Ev’rything.

  Behold my broken, chipp’d, and weaken’d hands,

  And see therein the possibilities.

  An Empire new shall from these ashes rise.

  Around us even now my fleet doth rise—

  Grim Star Destroyers waiting rank on rank,

  In numbers such as none could comprehend.

  This have I plann’d these many slumb’ring years.

  Whilst some men dream, I have been at my work

  Assembling this: the army thou shalt lead.

  The Final Order’s might shall ready be,

  And all is thine if thou dost what I ask—

  Kill thou the girl, the Jedi line conclude.

  Become, then, what thy grandfather could not—

  Darth Vader: powerful, yet not enow.

  Thou shalt rule o’er the galaxy entire,

  The newfound Emperor who takes my place.

  Beware, though—she is not whom thou believ’st.

  KYLO

  Who is she? Tell me all that thou dost know,

  And down this pathway gladly shall I go.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 2.

  Inside the Millennium Falcon.

  Enter FINN, POE DAMERON, and CHEWBACCA,

  seated at the holochess board.

  CHEWBAC.

  [aside:] Egh, auugh!1

  POE

  —What thinkest thou, then,

  Wookiee? Shalt

  Thou play, or ever gaze upon the board?

  Thou hast kept eyes on the phenomenon—

  Puff’d, paus’d, waddl’d about, and grunted so—

  Yet when wilt thou advance and take thy move?

  FINN

  The furball cannot beat us ev’ry time.

  POE

  And yet he doth. The startling fact is now

  Almost admitted universally.

  FINN

  How doth he so? For ’tis unknown to me.

  POE

  This gentleman with hairy coat of brown?

  In such a game, wherein the pieces have

  Bizarre and diff’rent motions, various

  And variable values, one may oft

  Mistake what’s but complex for what’s profound.

  Attention is call’d powerf’ly to play,

  And if thou pay’st attention, thou shalt see:

  He cheateth, it is plain.

  CHEWBAC.

  —Auugh!2

  POE

  —Nay, I jest!

  Thou art two hundred fifty years of age—

  With many years in foreign travel spent—

  ’Tis natural thou art superior.

  FINN

  Forever and a day thou takest for

  Thine ev’ry move, which is wherefore we think

  Thou cheatest. Faster play, and we shall none.

  [A sensor beeps.

  CHEWBAC.

  Egh, egh, auugh!3

  FINN

  —Fear thou not, we’ll nothing touch.

  POE

  We shall not turn the game off, by my troth,

  Yet we may get a very thrilling bit

  Of superstition from this fit of thine.

  [Chewbacca walks to another part of the ship.

  FINN

  Forsooth, the beast is cheating.

  POE

  —Verily.

  His agitation, represented here,

  Is so excessive that this officer

  Hath not the slightest doubt of Chewie’s guilt.

  [Poe turns the holochess board off.

  Finn and Poe follow Chewbacca.

  Enter KLAUD, working on the ship.

  Enter R2-D2 aside, near the top hatch.

  Good Klaud, I hope thou fix’d the power surge,

  Else shall the Falcon grounded be, I fear.

  KLAUD

  Reeyah, reeyah.

  [Poe sits in the cockpit with Chewbacca.

  POE

  —Good Chewie, let us hie—

  Our quick approach we make, to meet the one

  Who bringeth critical intelligence.

  ’Tis the desire of all parties concern’d

  To keep our bold affair from public view—

  At least for this, the present time, until

  We’ve further opportunity to make

  Investigation—lest a garbl’d or

  Exaggerated story maketh way,

  Misrepresented, to society.

  T-minus five and we are there, my friends!

  [Finn approaches the top hatch.

  FINN

  Artoo, holla. Stand’st thou prepar’d for this?

  Thy swift assistance I may yet require.

  R2-D2

  Meep, squeak! [Aside:] Born ready was I, here to serve!

  The Millennium Falcon flies inside an icy base and positions itself beneath an ice processing structure. FINN opens the top hatch. Enter BOOLIO in an opposite hatch, facing him.

  FINN

  Ah, Boolio! ’Tis fine to see thee here.

  Bring’st thou aught for us? Prithee, say thou dost!

 
BOOLIO

  A newfound ally is my gift to you:

  A clever spy from the First Order’s ranks

  Who would assist ye in your ev’ry scheme.

  FINN

  A spy? Thy words are music for mine ears—

  Who is this praiseworthy and fearless soul?

  BOOLIO

  Nay, I know not. Take thou this message, Finn,

  And transfer it to Leia presently.

  Make haste, for the First Order follows on!

  [Boolio lowers a drive to Finn via a cable.

  Finn inserts the drive into R2-D2.

  R2-D2

  Beep whistle whistle hoo, meep squeak beep meep?

  FINN

  This may be most significant, Artoo.

  Fill thou thy databanks with knowledge, quick!

  [The data on the drive begins

  to transfer to R2-D2.

  R2-D2

  Squeak whistle hoo!

  Enter a legion of TIE FIGHTER PILOTS in their

  ships, approaching the Millennium Falcon.

  TIE PILOT 1

  —My target lockèd is.

  POE

  Finn, work with speed! Or else we are the goose,

  Cook’d for the filling of First Order plates.

  They come with flash of fire most terrible,

  Accompanied by densest cloud of smoke

  And noise to naught but thunder comp’rable!

  FINN

  ’Tis nearly finish’d.

  [The data transfer concludes.

  R2-D2

  —Whee!

  FINN

  —Ho, now fulfill’d!

  [Finn unplugs the drive as

  Boolio begins to lift it.

  How can we thank thee for this, Boolio?

  Thyself thou hast endanger’d for our cause!

  BOOLIO

  Win ye this war, and all is reconcil’d—

  Your victory is recompense enow.

  [Exit Boolio. Finn closes the top hatch,

  then sits at a turret gun. The Millennium

  Falcon flies away from the pursuing TIE

  fighters. Poe knocks the ship into a wall.

  CHEWBAC.

  Auugh, egh!4

  POE

  —Alas, I know! Apologies!

  It must admitted be that thou hast some

  Good reason for thy doubt. My fault excuse.

  FINN

  [aside:] Once more I take my seat to fire on foes!

  POE

  Finn, wherefore shoot’st thou not these ships? Hath all

  Thine ordinary manner vanishèd,

  Thine ordinary occupations been