William Shakespeare's the Jedi Doth Return (9781594747144) Read online

  And we’ll rejoice to bear the news unto

  Our officers superior. Go now!

  [The Imperial troops open the back door and are met by Ewoks and rebels, who disarm them.

  HAN

  A cunning line! And you are quite the catch—

  Deceiv’d by rebels playing Empire’s part!

  We dangled all your hopes for victory

  As bait to draw you in and hold you fast,

  And now we take the bunker in our care.

  Let fall your weapons, else I shall release

  Your lives unto these creatures’ fearsome pow’r!

  Perchance they seem not vicious, yet they have

  What thou canst never know: fierce bravery.

  Enter PRINCESS LEIA and CHEWBACCA, joined by HAN SOLO, into the bunker. The Imperial troops remain guarded by the rebels at the back door.

  LEIA

  This bunker shall anon destroyèd be,

  And then our friends may strike their final blow.

  HAN

  Indeed! Pray, give to me another charge.

  We shall fulfill this task with perfect skill—

  And leave no charge unusèd.

  CHEWBAC.

  —Auugh!

  LEIA

  —’Tis set!

  Now let us fly! Else we shall bear the blast.

  [Han Solo, Princess Leia, and Chewbacca run from the bunker, which explodes.

  Enter LANDO OF CALRISSIAN, NIEN NUNB, ADMIRAL ACKBAR, WEDGE ANTILLES, and other REBEL PILOTS on right side of stage, dueling with IMPERIAL TROOPS in their ships. ADMIRAL PIETT and IMPERIAL CONTROLLER are aside, inside the Death Star.

  ACKBAR

  ’Tis done, the Endor crew hath triumph’d yet—

  The shield is down! Upon the Death Star’s main

  Reactor let us fly anon. Then shall

  We reach the core and give it quite a zap!

  LANDO

  We fly with haste! Red Group, Gold Group, form up

  And follow me! Today rebellion shall

  Have reason to exult! Our enemies

  Shall soon be vanquish’d! O what triumph shall

  Be ours when this great Death Star its own death

  Doth undergo. Three things shall be achiev’d

  Thereby. The first shall be a victory

  For our Rebellion—all the fervent hopes

  Of these past years attain’d in one swift stroke.

  The second benefit of Death Star’s end

  Is freedom and security for all

  Within the galaxy—no more oppress’d

  By evil tyrants, people shall once more

  Be free to dwell in possibility.

  And finally, the third result of this

  Great Death Star’s fall shall be the rising up

  Of all whose pasts conceal some awful guilt,

  Some aspect of their lives that brings regret.

  I speak of my own past—you all know well

  How I betray’d my friend when th’Empire forc’d

  My hand. And e’en that friend, good Han, hath through

  Rebellion’s cause found purpose he had ne’er

  Imagin’d. In this battle we fight not

  To merely terminate an enemy—

  Full many of us rebels seek the bliss,

  The balm and healing of redemption’s touch.

  So let it be, my noble comrades all:

  Fight now for the Rebellion, fight for all

  Who dwell within our galaxy, and fight

  Most ardently, indeed, for your own souls.

  Thus shall we raise those who by Empire’s might

  Have died, and forth from their celestial graves

  Shall they ascend and with a rebel’s voice

  Cry “Havoc!” and let slip the dogs of war!

  WEDGE

  Well spoken! I fly in for rebels’ gain!

  NIEN

  N’tiya tih.

  LANDO

  —We fly with thee, good Wedge:

  Inside the station, t’ward the centermost.

  TIE fighters follow us adroitly in—

  Mark well how they do come behind anon.

  We must outrun them e’en as we approach

  The place where we shall strike the Death Star’s core.

  WEDGE

  Form up, good lads, and stay alert. We could

  Within this tiny shaft lose space with haste.

  LANDO

  This passage is a narrow path indeed.

  If we can but maneuver cunningly,

  We shall escape the Death Star with our lives

  And, what is more, our hop’d-for victory.

  I prithee, pilots all, attend my words:

  Lock all thy weapons to the largest source

  Of power, which should be the generator.

  [An Imperial pilot strikes Rebel Pilot #1.

  PILOT 1

  Alas, friends, I am hit, and go to die!

  [Rebel Pilot 1 dies.

  LANDO

  I would not even one more pilot lose

  Who under my command doth fly herein.

  Pay heed, all: separate by diff’rent paths

  And fly toward the surface. See if you

  Can draw a few TIE fighters thither, too.

  This is the surest hope for our success

  Against the Death Star and its minions.

  PILOT 2

  —Aye,

  Thou speakest well, Gold Leader. We’ll obey.

  [The rebels inside the Death Star separate. Some exit, pursued by Imperial troops, leaving only Lando, Nien Nunb, and Wedge Antilles inside the shaft.

  NIEN

  Ah!

  [The Millennium Falcon scrapes the wall of the Death Star shaft.

  LANDO

  —Pardon, Han, I did say not a scratch,

  But did, in this tense moment, break that vow.

  Yet thou and I both know it could be worse—

  Our Falcon hath known scrapes in times now past.

  Still, that last brush was far too close; so shall

  I try to take more care with borrow’d wings.

  ACKBAR

  Our fighters must be given yet more time.

  This victory is here, within our reach.

  Thus, concentrate thy pow’r unto the main,

  And give the Empire much o’er which to fret.

  Within a fiery blaze of weaponry

  Let us the Super Star Destroyer wrap.

  [The rebels outside the Death Star fire on the Super Star Destroyer. Admiral Piett and the Imperial controller are shaken.

  CONTROL.

  Alas, Sir, our deflector shield is lost!

  PIETT

  Intensify the forward batteries.

  Let nothing break the bounds. Intensify,

  As well, the forward firing power.

  CONTROL.

  —Nay!

  Too late it is. We die, Sir—O, we die!

  [The Super Star Destroyer runs into the Death Star, and Admiral Piett and the Imperial controller are killed.

  Enter LUKE SKYWALKER and DARTH VADER on balcony, inside the Death Star.

  VADER

  O Luke, I prithee: render thy support

  And help me take this mask off.

  LUKE

  —If I do,

  Dear father, thou shalt surely meet thy death.

  VADER

  Aye. Naught shall stop that now, my son. Just once

  Let me look on thee with mine own eyes, Luke—

  These eyes that miss’d your mewling newborn face,

  These eyes that did not see your budding youth,

  These eyes that were not there to see you grow,

  These eyes that saw thee not when thou wert train’d.

  I prithee, let these eyes see thee at last.

  ’Twill be a fitting prelude to my death.

  LUKE

  My father, thou dost break my heart in twain.

  Behold, for thou shalt see thy son, indeed.


  [Luke Skywalker removes Darth Vader’s mask to reveal Anakin Skywalker.

  ANAKIN

  My misting eyes are nothing like my son’s—

  Thou art so beautiful to me. How strong

  Thy features, with thy mother’s gentle face.

  A man thou art, and ev’ry part my son.

  I never have been prouder, all my life.

  These final moments are pure gift. Now go,

  And take thy leave ere this place is destroy’d.

  LUKE

  But nay, thou shalt come with me. I shall not

  Desert thee, but shall save thee yet.

  ANAKIN

  —O, Luke,

  Thou hast already done. Thou knewest right—

  Thou knewest what I was, for still there was

  Some good within me aching to be free.

  Tell thy sweet sister this: that thou wert right.

  [Anakin Skywalker dies.

  LUKE

  O Father, fare thee well where’er thou goest,

  And flights of Jedi sing thee to thy rest!

  [Exit Luke Skywalker, dragging Anakin Skywalker’s body.

  WEDGE

  Good General Calrissian, the core

  We now have reach’d—’tis here, within my sight.

  LANDO

  I see it too, Wedge. Let us strike it down!

  Approach the power regulator there,

  Upon the northern tower. Let it burn!

  WEDGE

  I hear and do obey, Gold Leader. Soon

  It shall be done, and then I exit quick.

  LANDO

  Light up, you vicious beast of evil bent,

  You sick creation of humanity’s

  Most wretched and deprivèd sense of right—

  Since you could not inspire love, you caus’d fear.

  O that a people e’er should such a harsh

  And treach’rous weapon like to this create.

  For who would make a thing whose only point

  Is to destroy and murder, maim and kill?

  What beings would produce such wickedness

  As this: an instrument of pain and death?

  Thus I do strike at you with vengeance in

  The name of those who have no voice to speak.

  Farewell, you Star of Death—be now no more!

  [Wedge Antilles and Lando of Calrissian fire at the Death Star’s power generator.

  WEDGE

  ’Tis done, and now we make our great escape.

  Make ready, Admiral, for it shall blow.

  ACKBAR

  Move all the fleet hence, from the Death Star, else

  Our ships may from the grand explosion take

  A mighty slap.

  [The Death Star explodes. Exeunt Lando Calrissian,

  Nien Nunb, Wedge Antilles, Admiral Ackbar and

  other rebels from the space battle. The rebel crew

  on Endor looks to the sky to see the explosion.

  C-3PO

  —Hurrah! They did it!

  CHEWBAC.

  —Auugh!

  HAN

  Behold, and all rejoice—the deed is done!

  Yet be ye still, my tongue, for what of Luke?

  [ To Leia:] Certain I am that Luke was not inside

  When it did perish.

  LEIA

  —Truly, he was not,

  For I can sense he safely doth abide.

  HAN

  [ aside:] O, shall the love I’ve shown thus come to naught?

  Her heart doth move toward good Luke, my friend.

  Thus shall I play the noble part, and stay

  Aside whilst their hearts meet, though in the end

  It shall undo me. [ To Leia:] Thou dost love him? Say.

  LEIA

  Be sure I love him.

  HAN

  —Thus I ascertain’d

  And do respect. Good lady, do not fear:

  When he returns you may be unrestrain’d;

  The two of you have my consent sincere.

  LEIA

  Nay, nay, ’tis not as thou dost think, good Han.

  Let not thy visions run amok with thee,

  But hear these words that must fall strangely on

  Thine ears: he is my brother, dost thou see?

  Enter Wicket.

  WICKET

  N’yubba, yubba,

  Heezur brubba,

  Yoozur luvva,

  Nyubba, nyubba.

  [Han Solo rises, singing and dancing.

  HAN

  [ sings:] O revelation kind, my heart doth swell—

  A’merrily my feet do trip!

  My Leia’s mine, and I am hers as well.

  Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!

  Though Leia and myself did fear the worst,

  A’merrily my feet do trip!