William Shakespeare's the Jedi Doth Return (9781594747144) Read online

  Good Luke is safe from Death Star’s mighty burst.

  Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!

  We all are safe from that dire threat above—

  A’merrily my feet do trip!

  Thus end our wars with thoughts of blissful love!

  Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!

  Our rebel crew hath won the victory,

  A’merrily my feet do trip!

  Thus sing together, worthy company!

  Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 4.

  The forest moon of Endor.

  Enter LUKE SKYWALKER, with the body of ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

  LUKE

  The fun’ral pyre shall light my father’s way

  To glory out beyond the galaxy.

  His final journey shall not be by ship,

  But by the smoke that lifts into the air.

  [Luke lights the wood on which Anakin’s body lies.

  Rise up, my father—take thy closing flight.

  Rise up, my father—stretch toward the sun.

  Rise up, my father—man of tragedy,

  Rise up, my father—rise, and thus be free.

  Now is my heart full heavy, burden’d with

  Such muddl’d thoughts that strain my very soul.

  Methinks I should be happy, should rejoice

  At our sure victory, the Empire crush’d.

  Yet how can I make merry when the man

  I hardly knew—the father I had wish’d

  For years to meet—is come and gone like wind?

  O trick of Fortune, cruel-minded Fate!

  O wherefore mock at all my hope, my life?

  Am I a simple pawn with which thou play’st?

  Or hast thou e’er a purpose had for me?

  But stop thy tongue now, Luke, thou art misled—

  Aye, even as I rant I see my fault.

  For why should I blame Fate for thievery

  When it was Fate, indeed, that did decree

  That I would meet my father, that we two

  Would reunite with joy ere he did die?

  Should I not thank the blessèd Fate that knit

  This fascinating cord of life for me?

  I have seen stars, and space, and battles, too,

  Have had adventures grand with noble friends,

  And at the last, have met my father. Nay,

  Not only met, but witness’d his rebirth.

  And therefore, I declare with gratitude

  That I do thank the Fate that brought me here,

  E’en to this tragic pyre on which he’s laid.

  Now this is sure: whate’er befall me now,

  I am a better man for having known

  The one whose name I bear: e’en Anakin.

  Enter HAN SOLO, PRINCESS LEIA, CHEWBACCA, C-3PO, R2-D2, LANDO OF CALRISSIAN, WEDGE ANTILLES, ADMIRAL ACKBAR, other REBELS , and EWOKS , celebrating. Enter CHORUS.

  CHORUS

  The rebels meet with joy to celebrate,

  Their singing and their music fill the air.

  The Empire is defeated in its hate,

  And now Rebellion takes its respite rare.

  The Jedi Luke looks up and sees three men—

  Their countenances shine in bluish light—

  ’Tis Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin

  Who come e’en from the grave to share this night.

  All who did fight together come as one,

  And give unto each other their embrace.

  O’er this scene merry falls the setting sun;

  Not till ’tis day shall they the future face.

  HAN

  Our mouths with mirth and laughter raise a din,

  Our feet with glee and triumph stomp the ground,

  Our bodies are awake and full of life,

  Our souls are heal’d from Empire’s treachery.

  LEIA

  New hope did guide our first adventures, aye,

  Until the Empire harshly struck us back,

  But then our noble Jedi hath return’d

  And all ensur’d our victory was won.

  LUKE

  We stop, e’en as our epic play doth end,

  To thank thee for thy gracious company.

  Our star wars now are ended, for a time—

  The song of peace bursts forth in perfect rhyme.

  [All freeze as R2-D2 takes center stage.

  R2-D2

  Even thus, our tale is finish’d.

  Pardon if your hope’s diminish’d—

  If you did not find the sequel

  Satisfying. If unequal

  Our keen play is unto others,

  Do not part in anger, brothers.

  Ears, attend: I know surprises,

  Visions of all shapes and sizes.

  In some other times and places

  It may be Rebellion faces

  Certain dangers that may sever

  Our strong bonds that held us ever.

  Mayhap something compromising,

  Even like an Empire Rising.

  Thus present I our conclusion:

  Hint of Fate, or Fool’s illusion?

  [Exeunt omnes.

  END.

  AFTERWORD.

  How do you solve a problem like the Ewoks? In Return of the Jedi, the Ewoks say things like “gunda” and “yubnub!” but for The Jedi Doth Return I wanted to make their speech distinctive without resorting to a device I had used before. After all, the Ewoks are one of very few types of foreign-language speaking creatures introduced in Return of the Jedi (Jabba and his language first appear in the scenes that were added to A New Hope). They’re known for their unique way of communicating, so I wanted to do something special for them. I didn’t want them to speak English (like Salacious Crumb), I didn’t want them to sing (like the Rancor, or the Ugnaughts from William Shakespeare’s The Empire Striketh Back), and I didn’t want them simply to speak in an untranslated foreign language (like R2’s beeps, or Jabba’s Huttese). Instead, I wanted their speech to feel unique. Ultimately, I had them talk in short lines of verse with an AABA rhyme scheme, with dashes of almost a pidgin English thrown in. For example, here is my version of Wicket’s first line when he finds Leia unconscious in the forest:

  A buki buki,

  Luki, luki,

  Issa creecher,

  Nuki, nuki!

  This starts off sounding like a normal Ewok line—as often as possible, my first line of the Ewok quatrains uses the Ewokese spoken in the film. Then the second and third lines are in quasi-English: “Look, look, it’s a creature” is the translation here. The final line is there simply to rhyme with the first. I admit: this structure isn’t very Shakespearean. But I think it meets my goal of making the Ewoks’ speech distinctive, interesting, and even a bit intelligible. (As a side note, one of the most fun things about working with Lucasfilm is that someone will check your Huttese, your Ewokese, and any other alien tongue from the films. Yes, official versions exist of every language you hear in the Star Wars trilogy.)

  Speaking of characters who speak distinctively, let’s talk about R2-D2. The plucky little droid is the fool of the trilogy—a fool not in the modern sense but in the Shakespearean sense: a knowing presence who aids the action even though he seems somewhat simple. R2’s asides in English from William Shakespeare’s Star Wars through William Shakespeare’s The Jedi Doth Return situate him as such. That’s why he delivers the last line of the trilogy, speaking of what has been and what may be to come (bonus points for finding the Easter egg hidden in those final verses). That said, I decided Jabba’s court should have its own fool, who of course had to be Salacious Crumb. He speaks in English throughout William Shakespeare’s The Jedi Doth Return, commenting on the action and aware at every moment of how the players around him are positioned. It’s no surprise that in Return of the Jedi, it’s R2 who finally gets the best of Crumb—the two fools duke it out, and the better fool wins. (Who’s more foolish—the fool or the fool who electrocutes him?)r />
  Writing the William Shakespeare’s Star Wars trilogy meant I had more and more ground rules—of my own making—to remember with each volume. In Verily, A New Hope, I established the vocabulary of R2-D2’s beeps and Chewbacca’s growls, and the fact that R2 speaks English when he is alone, and the Shakespearean devices of rhyming couplets at the ends of scenes, and of course the iambic pentameter throughout. . . . In The Empire Striketh Back, I added Yoda speaking in haiku, Han and Leia speaking in rhyming quatrains to each other when alone (like Romeo and Juliet), and Boba Fett speaking in prose. By the time of this third installment, keeping these rules in mind while adding new ones—the Ewoks’ manner of speaking, Admiral Ackbar’s line endings, and so forth—was quite a juggling act. But what fun it has been immersing myself in this universe that I love and having an opportunity to put words into the mouths of characters I have known for decades.

  As I mentioned in my afterword to The Empire Striketh Back, Return of the Jedi is my favorite of the three original movies. I know Empire is widely considered the best of the trilogy, and the older I get, the more I understand why. But I have a soft spot in my heart for Jedi. It was the first of the trilogy that I saw in a movie theater. I vividly remember being six years old, watching the film with my uncle Norman who sat in the row behind me and translated the dialogue into Japanese for my aunt Sooja. (What’s the Japanese word for “sarlacc”?) Furthermore, growing up, we had The Making of a Saga on VHS, which covered the whole trilogy but focused primarily on Return of the Jedi, which cemented its primary status in my young heart. I’ve always loved the Jabba sequence, and although the Ewoks’ charm has grown a little thin now that I’m an adult, I still love the movie as a whole. So writing this final book of the trilogy was, as with the first two, a real joy.

  Of course, Return of the Jedi is where the story of Darth Vader comes full circle. The character development of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader—from Episode I through Episode VI—is a triumph of modern cinema. Vader’s transformation in Return of the Jedi comes across as both believable and natural, as if written by Fate, and that’s true whether you start watching at Episode IV or at Episode I. Return of the Jedi has more depth than people tend to acknowledge, due in large part to the cathartic final scenes between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker. Luke realizes how close he comes to the dark side, as he considers his own robotic hand and the severed limb of his father, which Luke himself cut off in a moment of fury. Darth Vader realizes he has a decision to make: save his son, or remain a slave to his Emperor. We see him make that choice in the most dramatic way possible, as he grasps the Emperor and casts him into the abyss to his doom. Those two events—the separate awakenings of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader—are masterful film moments, and utterly Shakespearean. Darth Vader realizes in the end that it is his son, not his Emperor, who matters, just as King Lear realizes before his death that Cordelia loved him better than Goneril and Regan ever could. These are weighty moments. I knew that even when I was six.

  Thank you, all of you who have entered the world of the William Shakespeare’s Star Wars trilogy. This has been a special journey for me; I hope it has been for you as well.

  May the Force be with you, always.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

  Once again, there are many to whom I am deeply grateful. This book is dedicated to my parents, Beth and Bob Doescher, and my brother Erik, who have encouraged and supported me more than I deserve. I grew up in a family where Star Wars was part of the fabric of our lives, and for that I am grateful.

  Thank you to the wonderful people of Quirk Books: editors Jason Rekulak and Rick Chillot, publicity manager Nicole De Jackmo, social media manager Eric Smith, and the rest of the gang. Thank you to my agent, Adriann Ranta, for her support throughout the trilogy and for looking ahead with me. Thank you to Jennifer Heddle at Lucasfilm for being a delight to work with, and to illustrator Nicolas Delort for making the pages dance.

  Continued thanks to my college professor and friend Murray Biggs, who reviewed all three manuscripts to enrich the Shakespearean pastiche. Thank you to my friend Josh Hicks, who listened to every idea and offered insightful, helpful feedback. Thank you to dear college friends Heidi Altman, Chris Martin, Naomi Walcott, and Ethan Youngerman, and high school friends (and their spouses) Travis Boeh, Chris Buehler, Erin Buehler, Nathan Buehler, Katie Downing, Marian Hammond, Anne Huebsch, Michael Morrill, Tara Schuster, Ben Wire, and Sarah Woodburn.

  Thank you to everyone else: Audu Besmer, Jane Bidwell, Jeff and Caryl Creswell, Ken Evers-Hood, Mark Fordice, Chris Frimoth, Alana Garrigues, Brian Heron, Jim and Nancy Hicks, Apricot and David Irving, Doree Jarboe, Alexis Kaushansky, Rebecca Lessem, Bobby Lopez, Andrea Martin, Bruce McDonald, Joan and Grady Miller, Jim Moiso, Janice Morgan, Dave Nieuwstraten, Julia Rodriguez-O’Donnell, Scott Roehm, Larry Rothe, Steve Weeks, Ryan Wilmot, and members of the 501st Legion.

  Finally, to my spouse, Jennifer, and our boys, Liam and Graham: thank you beyond rhyme, beyond meter, beyond words.

  WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

  (1564–1616) was a poet and playwright. He is widely considered one of the greatest writers in the English language.

  GEORGE LUCAS is a film producer, screenwriter, director, and the creator of the Star Wars motion picture saga. He lives in California.

  IAN DOESCHER is the New York Times best-selling author of William Shakespeare’s Star Wars. He lives in Portland, Oregon, with his family. Visit him at IanDoescher.com.

  PRAISE FOR WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S STAR WARS

  “Two of the most creative minds

  in the universe collide with

  spectacular, hilarious, and surprisingly

  touching insight into

  the original classic. This is truly

  Star Wars as you like it.”

  —Joe Schreiber,

  author of Star Wars: Death Troopers

  “The Bard at his finest, with all

  the depth of character, insightful

  soliloquies, and clever

  wordplay we’ve come to expect

  from the master.”

  —Timothy Zahn,

  New York Times best-selling author of Scoundrels

  QUIRKBOOKS.COM

  WWW.STARWARS.COM

  quirkbooks.com/shakespearestarwarsbooks