William Shakespeare's The Phantom Menace Read online

  Say wherefore, then, can you not see it, too?

  QUI-GON

  What Fate prepares for him is still unclear.

  In troth, he is no danger, Obi-Wan.

  The council shall his future settle, not

  Both thou and I contending o’er what’s true.

  I prithee, let these words suffice for thee

  And board the waiting ship; we soon fly hence.

  [Exit Obi-Wan.

  Have I been blinded by ambition’s light?

  If it is so, it is a grievous fault,

  And grievously I may yet answer it.

  Yet this small child hath captur’d all my thoughts

  As I have not for ages been consum’d.

  I feel a presence in him that doth stir

  My blood and sounds the call of destiny

  To meet, befriend, and train this noble lad.

  I trust the Jedi Council, yet they did

  Not see his exploits in the podracing.

  Their judgment is distorted by his age;

  They see his fear, yet not his aptitude.

  I am a Jedi, bound by discipline,

  Yet in this matter I shall press the bounds

  To bring their hesitation to assent.

  In doing so, I earn a double share:

  The boy is train’d in all the Jedi arts,

  The council stretches and in wisdom grows,

  And I do reap the benefit of both.

  Thus I desire, and trust the Force shall soon

  Fulfill this noble—if ambitious—work.

  Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER and R2-D2.

  ANAKIN

  I would not be a problem, Qui-Gon, sir.

  QUI-GON

  I’ll warrant thou wilt never problem be.

  As yet, I am not given leave to train

  Thee, but do ask thee to be mindful and

  To watch o’er ev’ry move thou seest me make.

  Remember, if thou canst: thy focus doth

  Determine what shall be reality.

  Stay by my side and e’er shalt thou be safe.

  ANAKIN

  If I may yet another question ask

  Of midi-chlorians wise Yoda spoke—

  Such term is unfamiliar to mine ears,

  Pray tell me, what are midi-chlorians?

  QUI-GON

  Once our vast galaxy did come to be,

  Life came to being, wondrous miracle.

  The energy of all potential life

  Was bas’d in these first creatures, which did spread

  And soon infusèd ev’ry living thing.

  These masters of abundant, pure life force

  We now know as the midi-chlorians.

  The midi-chlorians are life-forms small,

  Yea, microscopic are they, and reside

  In ev’ry living being, in the cells.

  ANAKIN

  They live within my body?

  QUI-GON

  —Aye, inside.

  All living things are symbionts with them.

  ANAKIN

  From one strange word unto another, sir—

  I prithee, tell me what are symbionts?

  QUI-GON

  Two life-forms that together dwell as one,

  Each make the other stronger when they’re join’d,

  And both do benefit in the exchange.

  These, then, are symbionts. Thus, if there were

  No midi-chlorians, life would be naught.

  And neither would we know the Force’s pow’r.

  If we but listen, they e’er speak to us

  And tell us of the Force and what it wills.

  As thou dost learn to quiet thine own mind,

  Thou shalt, like whisper’d poetry, hear their

  Majestic voices ringing in thine ears.

  ’Tis like a music written for thy soul,

  A symphony of words compos’d for thee.

  ANAKIN

  ’Tis difficult to comprehend this news.

  QUI-GON

  O, thou art not alone, if thou canst not

  The midi-chlorians yet understand.

  Yet be thou patient and, in time, thou shalt.

  ANAKIN

  [aside:] If I have heard aright, it seems to me

  The midi-chlorians make a tough cell.

  Enter QUEEN AMIDALA and JAR JAR BINKS.

  QUI-GON

  Your Majesty, it is our honor to

  Continue in your service and defense.

  AMIDALA

  Your aid is fully welcome. Palpatine

  Believes I do but flee the frying pot

  To face the Federation’s fire at home.

  QUI-GON

  Whilst you are in my charge, I’ll chill the threat

  Of any Federation flames that rise.

  As long as I have breath, I’ll guard your life.

  JAR JAR

  Hurrah! Now weesa goin’ homee!

  AMIDALA

  Methinks it may be trouble we pursue—

  If so, we fly to battle on Naboo.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 6.

  On the planet Naboo and aboard the Naboo cruiser.

  Enter NUTE GUNRAY and RUNE HAAKO on balcony, with DARTH SIDIOUS in beam.

  SIDIOUS

  Have you the planet verily secur’d?

  NUTE

  We’ve ta’en control of all the remnants of

  The primitives that o’er the planet roam.

  Naboo is now in our complete command.

  SIDIOUS

  ’Tis well. I shall, for my part, cause such stalls

  Within the Senate that all shall remain

  Just as it is. The status quo shall hold.

  To be assur’d of your continu’d strength,

  I shall send my apprentice, e’en Darth Maul,

  To help maintain your power o’er Naboo.

  NUTE

  Indeed, my lord.

  [Exit Darth Sidious from beam.

  RUNE

  —A Sith shall hither come?

  Now doth a madness new before us rise.

  [Exeunt Nute and Rune from balcony.

  Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, RIC OLIÉ, and ANAKIN SKYWALKER aside, in the cockpit of the Naboo cruiser.

  RIC

  Those do control the forward stabilizers.

  ANAKIN

  And these control the pitch?

  RIC

  —They do, indeed.

  Thou art a student quick and most astute.

  Enter QUI-GON JINN, QUEEN AMIDALA, JAR JAR BINKS, and CAPTAIN PANAKA.

  PANAKA

  once we do land, the Federation shall

  Arrest your royal person, bind you as

  A common criminal, and force you then

  To sign their awful treaty.

  QUI-GON

  —I agree.

  I do not see what profit comes of this.

  AMIDALA

  I shall but even out our bottom line,

  And take back what belongs to us by right.

  ’Tis not for profit, but for justice’s sake.

  PANAKA

  We few, we happy few, are but too few.

  We have no army that can match their count.

  QUI-GON

  I can protect you, but can fight no war.

  AMIDALA

  ’Tis understood. I call on Jar Jar Binks.

  JAR JAR

  You wantin’ meesa, Youra Highness?

  AMIDALA

  I do. The queen hath need of thy kind help.

  [Obi-Wan, Ric, and Anakin join the others.

  RIC

  As we did land, a battleship was seen

  Upon our scopes—a single one, ’tis true,

  Yet one shall be enough to give us chase.

  OBI-WAN

  It was a droid control ship, orbiting.

  PANAKA

  Belike they saw us as we landing made.

  OBI-WAN

  To make it brief: time runneth short for us.

  [Exe
unt.

  Enter RUMOR.

  RUMOR

  Below, upon the ground, a hope doth wait,

  E’en as the ship doth land, all have new fears.

  Herein all those on board shall find their fate—

  O, how it frightfully unknown appears.

  Look now, as I do make their hearts afraid,

  Determin’d, yet deterr’d by all their doubt.

  The final act shall on Naboo be play’d,

  Hath Rumor set the pieces to work out?

  E’en now, the Jedi start to doubt their place:

  Guards they shall be unto the queen no more.

  Uniting these two people face-to-face—

  Naboo’s hopes to ensure—is not their chore.

  Good soldiers of the queen become nonpluss’d

  And e’en Queen Amidala, in her breast,

  Now hath, by Rumor’s will, more doubt than trust:

  Shall they on Jar Jar all their future rest?

  Enter QUI-GON JINN and OBI-WAN KENOBI.

  OBI-WAN

  Toward the Gungan city Jar Jar’s gone.

  QUI-GON

  ’Tis well.

  OBI-WAN

  —Think you the queen’s idea shall fly?

  QUI-GON

  The Gungans shall not easily be sway’d;

  Thus let us hope the urgency’s enough

  To give wing to Her Majesty’s idea.

  We cannot use the pow’r we have to help,

  As we are peacekeepers, not warring men.

  OBI-WAN

  Good Master, what e’er comes, I’d have you know:

  For my behavior I apologize.

  ’Tis not my place to disagree with you

  About the boy, and hearty thanks I feel

  That you should think me ready for the trials.

  QUI-GON

  Thou art a keen apprentice, Obi-Wan,

  And art a wiser man by leagues than I.

  ’Tis clear, as I upon the waters of

  Thy future gaze, that thou shalt navigate

  What is to come with grace, be pilot of

  A wondrous course, a winsome Jedi Knight.

  Enter JAR JAR BINKS (from water), SABÉ dressed as Queen Amidala, PADMÉ, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, R2-D2, CAPTAIN PANAKA, RIC OLIÉ, other NABOO SOLDIERS, and, separately, MEMBERS OF THE QUEEN’S COURT.

  JAR JAR

  Nobody’s dere! De Gungan city

  Deserted is. Some fight, me thinkin’.

  OBI-WAN

  Think’st thou they have been taken to the camps,

  Where Federation’s foes are all intern’d?

  PANAKA

  Belike the Gungans all have been destroy’d.

  JAR JAR

  Yet meesa nowee think so, Captain.

  QUI-GON

  Dost know where they may be, meek Jar Jar? Eh?

  JAR JAR

  When trouble come, they go place sacred.

  Come, meesa show you it! Come withee!

  All journey to the Gungan sacred site. Enter BOSS NASS, other GUNGAN BOSSES, and CAPTAIN TARPALS.

  TARPALS

  Your honor, wise Boss Nass, I do present

  Queen Amidala, ruler of Naboo.

  JAR JAR

  Hello, de big Boss Nass, your honor.

  NASS

  o, Jar Jar Binks, now who’s da uss-en uthers?

  SABÉ

  I am Queen Amidala of Naboo.

  I come before your royal court in peace.

  NASS

  Naboo biggen. Youse bringin’ mackineeks,

  And yousa bringin’ trouble, all bombad.

  SABÉ

  We humbly come before you to suggest

  Betwixt our peoples an alliance strong.

  PADMÉ

  Your honor.

  NASS

  —Whosa diss? And why she speak?

  PADMÉ

  I am Queen Amidala. This is but

  My decoy, my protection, loyal guard.

  She speaketh for me when it serves the time,

  But you, Boss Nass, deserve the rightful queen.

  QUI-GON

  [aside:] The handmaiden had play’d a hidden hand,

  And dealt us all an unexpected shock.

  PADMÉ

  For this deception, my apology;

  ’Twas necessary to protect myself.

  Your honor, hear my deferential plea:

  Though our two peoples have not e’er agreed,

  Our two societies have liv’d in peace.

  The vile Trade Federation hath destroy’d

  All we have work’d so ardently to build.

  If action is not swift, all shall be lost.

  I call on you to help us. [Kneeling:] Nay, I beg—

  A queen’s humility giv’n for your aid.

  Myself and those with me are servants now.

  [The Naboo, the Jedi, and Anakin Skywalker kneel.

  You work the loom of our yet unknown fate.

  NASS

  Ha! Yousa nowa thinkin’ yousa great

  Beyond de Gungans now. Me lika dis!

  Mayhap shall be dat weesa bein’ friends.

  PANAKA

  I shall away, to learn what may be found

  That may be advantageous to our cause.

  [Exit Captain Panaka. The Gungans and the Naboo embrace and then begin forming battle lines.

  Enter NUTE GUNRAY, RUNE HAAKO, and DARTH MAUL on balcony, with DARTH SIDIOUS in beam.

  NUTE

  Our strong patrols have been sent forth, my lord.

  Their starship in the swamplands hath been found.

  It shall not be too long ere they’re destroy’d.

  SIDIOUS

  An unexpected play this is for her.

  ’Tis too aggressive. [To Darth Maul:] Mindful be,

  Lord Maul.

  Pray, let them be the first to make a move.

  MAUL

  Indeed, my master, just as you do say.

  SIDIOUS

  She is more foolish than I e’er did think.

  NUTE

  All troops have been dispatch’d unto the swamp

  Where she with her small force assembles now.

  It doth appear she’s join’d with primitives.

  SIDIOUS

  This shall be an advantage to us, quite.

  NUTE

  I may proceed, then?

  SIDIOUS

  —Yea. Destroy them all,

  Erase all trace or memory of them.

  [Exeunt Nute Gunray, Rune Haako, Darth Maul, and Darth Sidious from beam.

  NASS

  [to Jar Jar:] O, yousa doin’ grand, good Jar Jar. You

  Hat uss-en and Naboo together brought.

  Thus, weesa make you bombad general!

  JAR JAR

  A general! O meeso happy!

  Enter CAPTAIN PANAKA with several NABOO SOLDIERS.

  QUI-GON

  Good Captain, how doth our position stand?

  PANAKA

  They have ta’en nearly ev’ryone to camps.

  There are, as yet, some hundreds who have form’d

  An underground resistance movement here.

  Full many as I could, I’ve hither brought.

  So far’s the news that we may count as good,

  Yet there is more that rings a grimmer note:

  The Federation’s army is more vast

  And far more pow’rful than we first bethought.

  Your Highness, I believe we’ll not prevail—

  I fear this battle may undo us quite.

  PADMÉ

  This battle’s but a side dish to the main—

  A savory diversion to the feast.

  The truer course shall elsewhere be array’d,

  A table we shall in the city set.

  Keen R2-D2, furnish us the plans.

  [R2-D2 projects a beam showing a map of the city.

  The Gungans hither draw the droidly throng,

  Whilst we make way into the city by


  The hidden passage near the waterfalls.

  Once we obtain unto the entrance main,

  Panaka shall a new diversion craft.

  This being done, we others shall go forth

  Into the palace, capturing the viceroy.

  Sans him, they shall be lost and sore confus’d,

  And thus, the day is ours. What do you think?

  QUI-GON

  A cunning plan, if all doth go as hop’d.

  The viceroy shall be guarded thoroughly.

  PANAKA

  It shall take pains the throne room to obtain,

  But once therein, it shall be easier.

  QUI-GON

  There is an ample possibility

  That in this action many Gungans fall.

  NASS

  Ahh, weesa all prepar’d to do ours part.

  PADMÉ

  We have a plan that shall immobilize

  The army of the droids. Our pilots brave

  Shall fly unto the droid control ship, which

  E’en now doth make its orbit, and destroy

  It utterly, disabling all the droids.

  QUI-GON

  A plan most well-conceiv’d, and dangerous.

  The risks are bounteous, as well you know.

  Your fighters’ weapons may not penetrate

  The large ship’s shields.

  OBI-WAN

  —An even greater risk:

  If it doth happen that the viceroy ’scapes,

  He shall another army bring to bear.

  PADMÉ

  ’Tis clear, then, why we must the viceroy take—

  No different conclusion shall suffice.

  Upon that ending all our hopes begin.

  R2-D2

  Beep, squeak! [Aside:] O, cause most noble—may it rise!